In John chapter 21, we read the story of Jesus' post-resurrection meeting with his disciples by Lake Galilee (Tiberius). The disciples go fishing, catch nothing, and, in the early morning light, they see a person on the seashore asking if they have caught any fish. They say no, and the person on the seashore tells them to cast their net to the right side of the boat, and they will catch something. They do this, and their nets are full of 153 large fish; this was the catch of a lifetime.
John is the first to realise that it is Jesus. He realised that this is a similar situation to when Jesus first called them, in Luke 5:4-11. At that time, there was Jesus and a boat and a large catch of fish and ... a call to follow him and become fishers of men. John says, "It's the Lord," and Peter swims ashore to see Jesus.
What follows is the first men's prayer breakfast. Some men meeting with Jesus over breakfast and there in that context, Jesus speaks to them.
Jesus has some special words to say to Peter in a very famous conversation, recorded at the end of John chapter 21.
On the night of Jesus' arrest, Peter had denied Jesus three times. In this conversation, Jesus asks Peter three times do you love me? and reinstates Peter as a disciple. He then says to Peter, "Follow Me!"
Let's look at the conversation.
So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus *said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He *said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He *said to him, “Tend My lambs.”
He *said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” He *said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He *said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.”
He *said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus *said to him, “Tend My sheep.
Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to gird yourself and walk wherever you wished; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands and someone else will gird you, and bring you where you do not wish to go.”
Now this He said, signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He *said to him, “Follow Me!”
John 21:15:19
This book of the bible was written in Greek. The Greeks had four words for love. Agape, Eros, Phileo, and Storge.
Agape = selfless, unconditional, and sacrificial love.
Eros = passionate, romantic, or sexual love
Phileo = love of deep friendship and companionship.
Storge = familial love, particularly the natural affection between parents and children
In this passage, two of these Greek words are used, but are only translated as love in English. Let's look at those same verses with these words emphasised.
So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus *said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you agape Me more than these?” He *said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I phileo You.” He *said to him, “Tend My lambs.”
Jesus is asking Peter if he will unconditionally and self-sacrificially love him. To which Peter replies, " Sure, Jesus, I will be your friend".
Jesus asks him the same question again.
He *said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you agape Me?” He *said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I phileo You.” He *said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.”
And the third time, Jesus asks a slightly different question.
He *said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you phileo Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you phileo Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I phileo You.” Jesus *said to him, “Tend My sheep.
So what is going on here? Why this play on words? When you consider that Jesus spoke Aramaic, not Greek, what is John trying to tell us here with his choice of words?
Peter had always been loud about his love and faith in Jesus. It was Peter who made the confession that Jesus was the Christ, the Son of the living God (Matt. 16:16). It was Peter who declared that whilst all may fall away from Jesus, he would never fall away. (Matt. 26:33). It was Peter who tried to defend Jesus and chopped off the ear of the High Priest's slave's ear in Gethsemane. (John 18:10).
Peter had been big and bold in his love for Jesus, but when the chips were down, he had ended up denying him three times. I think Peter was unsure of himself and doubted that he could love Jesus with the unconditional love he was asking for, but he was certain he could love Him as His friend. We can see that Jesus accepted the love that Peter offered in His third question. Peter, son of John, do you phileo me? (Will you be my friend?)
Jesus then goes on to describe how Peter will die, and you have to ask, was Peter's death based on friendship (phileo), or deep unconditional love (agape)? (History tells us that Peter died in Rome, where he was crucified upside down.)
I think Peter restarted his discipleship with phileo love for Jesus, but as he walked with Jesus again, his love and passion increased and developed into agape love. At the time of his death, it was Peter, who requested that he be crucified upside down. He did not see himself worthy to suffer the same way as Jesus did. That was an act of self sacrificial love, not just friendship.
So, why am I saying all this? Well, you might find yourself in a place where you doubt if you can follow Jesus with the passion and unconditional love that He deserves. Well, start with what you have, follow Him with the love of a friend, and watch as he deepens your love for Him as you walk with Him day by day.
One day, you will realise that your love for Jesus has transformed into the deep and unconditional love that He asks for and deserves. By walking with Jesus every day, you will find it easy to love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. (Deut. 6:5)
Like the boy who gave Jesus his lunch, (John 6:9) and watched Him use it to feed a multitude. Take the small bit of love that you have in your heart, and give it to Jesus and watch it grow and deepen as you walk with him.
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